No, really......

Picture this. A family driving down a country road in a family fun and safe vehicle. Husband behind the wheel, wife on the passenger side, and three lovely children strapped down in the back playing games and singing songs. This reminds me of many childhood trips, many to visit relatives, many to go sightseeing or vacationing, especially because these trips were always in a crowded vehicle being that I have two siblings (we were not lovely however) and also because of the wooded remote setting and a two lane highway. The one major difference is a dog. Not just any dog, a wiener dog that has the ability to speak English. At least I think it can. The wife, oblivious to the pain she is inflicting her husband, has the anxious dog on her lap. While the dog continuous torments the husband by jumping on him and trying to lick his face the wife is trying to restrain it and distract it by asking it repeatedly to recite the alphabet. The bratty little wiener dog is having none of it. The only letter is will say is "B! B!" over and over again.
"Why wouldn't you do it!" the wife begins shouting furiously at the dog, "I know you can!"
"B! B!"
"Because your a fucking psycho bitch." the husband tells her.
The dog growing even more insubordinate jumps over the front seat into the laps of the children, whose merriment becomes a meshing wave of noise, void of words, like the insanity of first graders dismissed to recess.
"Oh honey, your language is discouraging him from his school work."
"School work! I'm trying to drive!"
One of the children's backseat windows is open allowing an intense breeze to blow in which without doubt helps the family communication process even more.
"Mom can you help me?" one of the children asks. Mother looks back to see the child holding the dog outside the window while the dog wriggles franticly trying to escape.
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" she screams as little guy jerks free and flies off the side of the road, lands feet first and runs into the woods.
"Great! Now he is going to get lost! I told you we shouldn't have brought the goddamn dog!" The husband stops the car and I wake up.

Yes, I can feel it. There is a whole new Homeward Bound adventure brewing here. A classic dysfunctional family movie. I just don't know where it is going yet. I'll hold off on the call to Disney.