it wasn't my real house. I've never seen it before.

So there I was, hosting a party. A house party where, as most parties do, the number of people was steadily increasing. As the number of people was steadily increasing the number of people that I had not invited was dramatically increasing. There was little I could do. There had been some sort of ceremony near my house where people had been initiated into an anti-gravity religious sect. A cult if you will. Some of these people were friends and acquaintances that had apparently told me of this event in advance.
"Why, didn't you come?" they asked, "it was only a few blocks away." They wanted to make me feel bad like I had missed the concert of the century. But it wasn't a peer pressure thing. For some reason beyond my knowledge they felt that since I lived so close I was obligated to attend. To me it just seemed like hype. They all had much paler skin than I remembered. There were others that had come from another part of town. They sat socializing and playing board games. I was disinterested. I was growing claustrophobic, and had an overwhelming need to kick everyone the hell out. I looked at the calender hanging in my kitchen, full of drunk people. Wasn't my party supposed to be tomorrow night? One after another they brought up this life changing event. It seemed like it wasn't new to them, almost ritualistic . They had been touched by the hand of god and I had missed the boat.
"You see, it's a force stronger than gravity. The only reason we are here is because we focus so strongly on Earth and earthy possessions. Don't you see? Don't you get it?" Apparently I didn't. I was drunk. There were spilled drinks everywhere. I had carpet that in several spots was saturated with red wine.
"Come on man! Come with us! We're so close. Once you let go, gravity means nothing. Nothing can keep us here." For some reason I knew that this whole situation was not just smoke and mirrors. I had seen the lights down the street as people started showing up at my house. They stretched far off into the sky to some focal point that could not be seen with the naked eye.
"Get the fuck out of my house!" I screamed, "you guys have been duped by some stupid fucking aliens!" For some reason I was half naked and looking for the rest of my clothes. "This is no different than last time." I told them. They didn't get it. Why did everyone keep buying into this stupid kinda shit? I wasn't going, EVER.
A police car pulled into my driveway. I went out to assess the problem thinking most likely it was a noise complaint. "Sorry to inform you, the road is out. Everyone is going to have to stay here for now." the officer told me.
"What do you mean the road is out?" I asked. He stepped into the light and I looked at his face. It was beyond pale. Really a pale-blue. Small portions of his face were missing, revealing bits of muscle tissue and bone underneath. The cartilage over his right nostril was half gone.
"The anti-gravity took the road away. There is no other way out."
"Fuck...I guess it's a good thing I'm drunk." I replied.

Sometimes there is nothing better than telling others how you feel.

pie a zombie in the face

Is it just me or is it just that time of year? The holidays approach once again and I have dreams that in many ways look like waking life. Lots of red and green and flashing lights, excess consumption really only for the sake of itself but veiled in the spirit of giving. It is really easy to get caught in it all. Deer in headlights. What am I doing in this store again? I had a list. I wander around for awhile surrounded by the sights and sounds of crap I don't need only to leave empty handed. Or try to leave. This is where things begin to escalate against my will. As I walk from one aisle to the next the entire scene morphs slowly before my eyes. An enormous retail city spans out in all directions with a whole new, unique and unstable architecture. I realize that I have little chance of escape without a map. The scene grows much dimmer as I am enveloped in the vastness of it all. Trapped in a public place where all the aesthetic that draws me in has expired. The fluorescent lights look more like street lights. The walls once painted white are now cold brick giving the impression that I am in an alley. There are burning barrels. I realize who the monsters are. These dreams always have a carnival like aspect to them. There is always someone heckling and haggling, usually wearing a hat that is way, way over the top. Maybe missing a body part, maybe with an extra body part.

In contrast to the summer time, the time of year when the crazies come out and cause trouble, it is right about now that the "normal" ones come out to buy. The weather isn't very encouraging for going anywhere. But I suppose if you don't have any serotonin level it wouldn't make much difference to you. I strongly advise staying home this year and making a gift for at least one friend. Even if it is as simple as burning them a CD. You never really know what you will run into out there. Signing off, fromundertheovercast.

bible lessons for children of the 80's

More on Exodus. I figured I can give my take on this after playing it for about 5 minutes. The game play feels sort of like Bomberman gone wrong. There is a bunch of stuff in your way. You have to "zap" your way through squares of brush or sand, I can't tell what the hell it is but it is referred to as the "murmurings of Israel" and oh yes, it is true, Moses shoots lightning that really only travels a relative distance to static electricity. This "zapping" of objects that are obstructions to your mission is actually referred to in the game as the "word of God." Once you fight your way through the Pharaoh's magicians and collect enough manna jars you can advance through the flashing exit. In Bomberman it was simply a hidden door (much to simple for a game with such biblical implication). Before you advance to the next level you are asked a series of questions about Exodus. Correct answers are rewarded with bibles. Incorrect answers are followed by lashings from your disappointed parents. You get the impression that since you can move in all four directions that the game is a top view perspective. But if you remove "murmurings of Israel" from underneath boulders (obstacles of faith) they fall on you and you are forced to restart the level. Maybe technically they roll onto you. Anyway, for a more extensive glossary of items and enemies you can hit select on the screen following the start screen where you choose the number of players. Bomberman was a way cooler game and taught a much better lesson to children: if you have enemies, don't rub your shoes on the carpet and sneak up behind them with a pointed finger, just blow them up.

or

You be the judge.

new hobbies

Friends have been telling me for months that I need to find a new hobby or maybe just something to occupy my time. So at long last I have come up with a few things. If I were to mention any of the following to them they would probably respond with a "whatever" or "Dude that is totally not what I meant." Either way it is proof that I am entirely helpless. I mean come on, for fucks sake I have a blog.

Perfecting the laughter of various generic villains. The mad scientist, the Russian spy, the demon, the inbred redneck murderer, the crazy old man that no takes seriously...

Playing 8 bit Nintendo games that I never played as a child and explaining why you should stay the hell away from them unless you are easily amused. You should try Exodus unless you were the poor soul in the days of 8 bit that had parents that bought that one for you.

Surfing the web, looking at other people's blogs (go figure.)

Alright that's it, I'm going for a walk. Gonna see if I can get lost. If you see me don't try to stop me. I am way too busy coming up with new ways to waste my time.

mal·le·a·ble 1. capable of being extended or shaped by hammering or by pressure from rollers. 2.adaptable or tractable: the malleable mind of a child

At the brink. When you reach that point it can be a task to work your way back. I wear rubber bands around my wrists to test whether I am dreaming or not. Unfortunately my unconscious mind has become aware of this fact. You feel the sting in a dream too. If nothing else this test serves as a recognition that differentiation needs to be made. The brain is a complex computer. Just like the computer I use to type this now the product is all dependent on what is pressed. Stimuli. You never really know what the hell you are going to get out of it.

I had a dream that I was in Los Angeles and I had tickets to The Price Is Right. I was in a serious rush to get there before the show started but I couldn't get there because I couldn't find my shoes.......really. Apparently I have become equally intoxicated in dreams as in reality. The most insane part of it is that this absurd behavior is not so far fetched. I have done stranger things.

I don't need to go to sleep to escape reality. I just have to keep convincing myself that I have a night life. But by the time the night is over, and by brain has become a very malleable gelatinous mass, I realize once again that maybe sleep is the only thing that can keep me in check. Grinding animal bones.