I got it! if we can change tokens for beer...

There are some people that just cannot handle crowds. I am going to go out on a limb by stating that frequently this inability to be civil and frankly, not be a douchebag is a direct result of alcohol. Other times it is a result of panic and misuse of authority. This case is an example of both. Party on.
I'll be the first to admit that I wanted to beat up the rat, which probably would have incited violence, but really, what is going on in Flint Township, Michigan? I have never been there, but I hope for their sake this isn't an everyday occurrence, although according to reports there were two incidents on consecutive days. I am generally not concerned with acts violence or socially acceptable behavior, but you have to draw the line somewhere. If this doesn't cross your line I'm not sure anything could. If you're sliding in the direction of lunacy and you can't take the constant stimuli of children screaming and lights flashing, at least make it worthwhile and safe for the kids. Have another family member or close friend drive the kids home. When the kids are out of the picture then it's okay to take out the hostilities on others that are responsible for there own stupidity, namely stupid parents (make sure someone has taken their kids home too), the overweight stupid employees that can't shut up, and of course the rat. Still, it goes without saying that putting this plan into effect will still warrant response from the authorities, but at least it will be you that gets pepper sprayed and not someone else's children. I'm not going to look at this as the downfall of society in America. There's a load of other stupid human tricks that already have me convinced. But I must admit I'm baffled. I couldn't even write it like that.

saying goodbye concrete, hello me

Did a face plant Friday night. Waiting for my upper lip to heal. These things happen to me or as I tell others when they ask, I happen to me. I have tried to convince myself that these things just happen, but I don't see anyone else with road rash on their face. My dream of free style running is all but dead. Bigger plans are on the horizon. By the time the snow melts the sandpaper on my face should be gone and honestly so should I. A vacation is in order indeed. The least I could do is make a fool of myself on my own time, in my own way, and do it with a smile on my face... and keep my face.

Milton will never top Barton

This is one of the hilarious sketches of all time. Those of you that have seen it know what I am talking about. Those of you with no prior knowledge of the group be prepared to witness comic genius. Those of you that have a contrary opinion, take a walk. Retrace your steps. You left your sense of humor somewhere. It is hazardous to your health to remain without it.

dimensia

I love the saying "there are two sides to every story". Shit, last time I checked there weren't two sides to anything. The shortest distance between point A and point B is a Straight Line. That seems more valid even in a social context. Action, reaction. Besides, if there is only two people involved can you really call it a story. I am going to compile a list of stories with two or less characters to prove my point. But in the meantime, simple math.
How many people were witness to said "story". Insert number here: ___
That's how many sides there were. But we are beyond this fundamental point. Above it or below it? There is not enough time to realize that the first grade game of telephone never ended.
On the other hand, a circle has an infinite number of sides, Earth only has about 7 billion.

pong against the evil alliance of marine life

Alright, I have a confession to make. Like my dreams, this blog has become multi-themed and sometimes themeless...if that is possible. Even as the author I cannot label it with any consistent meaning or purpose. Deal with it. So here comes another review on an 8-bit game from an individual that knows nothing about reviews and an excess amount about shitty 8-bit games like Thunder and Lightning.

I remember this one as a child though I am sure a significant amount of people don't. This game was distributed by Romstar Inc. and developed by Visco Games. The arcade version differs quite drastically from the NES version I am used to but the basic concept is the same: keep the ball in the air. I am quite certain that it has been said before, if you are a fan of Pong, or maybe just really faded, you will love this game. I don't know the story behind your little guy with the Pong paddle and the big nose but he seems pretty cool. What turns the game into an all out action packed frenzy of goodness is the little submarine that swims by under the blocks you need to destroy. When the ball strikes the little thing it shits out a special tool or prize and you have to scamper to retrieve it while keeping the ball from hitting the bottom of your screen. It's a submarine piñata. The trinkets include 1ups, a multi-ball feature and a bigger ball which destroys pretty much everything in it's path. Also there are different creatures (like the assholes with tentacles in each upper corner of the following picture) that try to obstruct your mission in a variety of ways.


This is a picture of the first level. I wanted to leave you in suspense and refrain from potentially ruining the game for you. Yeah, I know, just let me have my moment.

I am going to ruin one part for you. If you run out of lives like most games way back when you cannot continue on the level you have advanced to. Sadly the game starts over from the beginning and you throw the controller in frustration against the wall or floor, breaking it. Forced to retire, you snap back into the realization of your adult life. Tragic.

If only it were that easy.

I guess that everyone has regrets sometimes. It is pointless to tell myself that I don't but also pointless to tell myself I don't believe in the supernatural to a certain extent. I'm testing this one as soon as I get a chance.

No, really......

Picture this. A family driving down a country road in a family fun and safe vehicle. Husband behind the wheel, wife on the passenger side, and three lovely children strapped down in the back playing games and singing songs. This reminds me of many childhood trips, many to visit relatives, many to go sightseeing or vacationing, especially because these trips were always in a crowded vehicle being that I have two siblings (we were not lovely however) and also because of the wooded remote setting and a two lane highway. The one major difference is a dog. Not just any dog, a wiener dog that has the ability to speak English. At least I think it can. The wife, oblivious to the pain she is inflicting her husband, has the anxious dog on her lap. While the dog continuous torments the husband by jumping on him and trying to lick his face the wife is trying to restrain it and distract it by asking it repeatedly to recite the alphabet. The bratty little wiener dog is having none of it. The only letter is will say is "B! B!" over and over again.
"Why wouldn't you do it!" the wife begins shouting furiously at the dog, "I know you can!"
"B! B!"
"Because your a fucking psycho bitch." the husband tells her.
The dog growing even more insubordinate jumps over the front seat into the laps of the children, whose merriment becomes a meshing wave of noise, void of words, like the insanity of first graders dismissed to recess.
"Oh honey, your language is discouraging him from his school work."
"School work! I'm trying to drive!"
One of the children's backseat windows is open allowing an intense breeze to blow in which without doubt helps the family communication process even more.
"Mom can you help me?" one of the children asks. Mother looks back to see the child holding the dog outside the window while the dog wriggles franticly trying to escape.
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" she screams as little guy jerks free and flies off the side of the road, lands feet first and runs into the woods.
"Great! Now he is going to get lost! I told you we shouldn't have brought the goddamn dog!" The husband stops the car and I wake up.

Yes, I can feel it. There is a whole new Homeward Bound adventure brewing here. A classic dysfunctional family movie. I just don't know where it is going yet. I'll hold off on the call to Disney.

AM radio in the AM

Hello there. Back in commission in the year of '08. Wondering if disaster awaits. Hoping for the best. Keeping it simple. Went to the laundromat today. Still one of my top five places to drink, but not this time. Better than that it is one of the best places to read comments left by other patrons and one in particular today.

"Dear Mr. Jean,
Had trouble with washer 17. Put in 75¢, but it wouldn't take any more. Also, the detergent dispenser, wouldn't dispense the detergent I selected. Only took my money like every woman I have been with. Can I possibly get a refund?"

He left his name and phone number which I have forgotten. But I thank him for the gently giggle I got out of it in a pre-caffeine stupor. Remember it's not always about the stupid I saw U's and marker in bathroom stalls.

Signing off, fromundertheovercast.